Word Paralysis - Yes it's a Thing

from Pinterest - and my nightmares

Did ya miss me?

Seriously, I apologize that I have been gone for so long. I have no excuse, other than I sit at my computer and feel like I have nothing to write about. Which is lame and not true, but I sit here and just stare at the keyboard, willing it to type on my behalf. (Apple, if you're reading this and could get working on that technology, that'd be great.)

So the other night, I was perusing Pinterest and other blogs that I read in order to hopefully get inspired. Of course, this turned into a time-suck black hole of unproductivity where I mostly found funny memes, recipes I'll never make, and YouTube clips of babies and animals. Seriously, watching a baby paw at a dog who paws back never gets old.

Luckily for me, in the midst of nonsense a gem shone through. I was checking in with one of my FAVORITE sites / favorite people, Glennon Doyle Melton over at Momastery. If you're looking to get both inspired and joyful, while snot crying at the same time, Glennon is your gal.

One of her most recent posts (which you can find here) struck a real chord with me.  Glennon does amazing work, she's a great writer and speaker, and I found we might have a tiny something in common. To my shock, I discovered that we are both sometimes scared to write.

(Like how I just lumped myself in there with a master like Glennon?)

She writes, "After the Alabama event, Sister and I stayed up late in the hotel talking about the fact that here on the blog, I’ve been writing directly from my heart less often than I used to. I think I just started putting weird pressure on myself. This place has gotten so big, and over time I convinced myself that everything I wrote needed to be shiny and shareable and big and amazing. So I started writing essays instead of love letters. Meh. That’s not what we need all the time is it? We just need to show up for each other. Tired, full, broken, sparkling heart to tired, full, broken, sparkling heart. I am not here to prove myself, I’m here to serve you....Showing up > Showing Off. So anyway, here I am. I’m going to write directly to you once a week. Nothing fancy. Just: Here I Am. Also sometimes I won’t. No problem."

The point of her post is MUCH greater than just this section, and I implore you to read it all because she has a really beautiful message. But this particular section hit me over the head.

Let me preface the following by saying: In NO way am I comparing my writing to hers. We're here sharing about travel and Disney and beaches and cruises and all that, and she's literally changing people's lives. But when she says, "I started putting weird pressure on myself...", I felt my stomach drop and the cartoon light bulb was over my head. That's why I haven't been pushing the Publish button - I've been nervous/anxious/scared about it not being good enough.

I've told you all before but we're going to do this again. I LOVE writing this blog. I love sharing with you, and to my shock and amazement, you've loved it right back. Which both excites me, and if we're being honest, scares the crap out of me. I know there are SO many choices out there when it comes to blogs (especially blogs centered on travel and Disney) and the fact that you continue to read mine is really humbling to me. None of you lovely people pressure me in the slightest, but I feel like I have to REALLY deliver the goods so you'll keep reading. Which is weird and bizarre and truly, a total waste of time on my part. I can't make anyone read, or keep reading, so I'm going to (try my hardest to) give that up that pressure.  As a recovering people-pleaser, it'll be a hard road but I'm walking down the path.

From now on, I'll just write. Some days it'll be War and Peace (there I go again; trust me, it'll never be War and Peace) and some days it'll be just me, here I am. Writing about what I love and the places I love. As Glennon says, Showing Up IS greater than Showing Off. So I am committed to Showing Up, and if the only person who reads that day is me, that's OK too.

Have a magical day!